**-i LOVE yyou-**

Saturday, April 30, 2005



SA here le lehhh...haiz...sian...long never blogg...cuz bro dun let mie use...lets see...we start from mon...
Mon...we are crazy...we got extra lessons den we do and do...esp pei jun,eileen and i...we are so noisy...den we dun let mr yee go home!!!haha...so lessons suppose ta end at 4...but we delayed till 5.45...=P...got back my report card...den i wasn't happie...as i said...i would cry...and i did tat at home...but thanks ta ken who was there ta console mie despite of him not feeling gd too...cuz he lost his wallet...THANKS ALOT!!!

Tues...everything was normal bahx...can't realli rmb...i have bad memory...haha...got guitar after skool...suppose ta have lessons too...but cuz of syf on thurs...i muz go ta guitar instead of lessons...we had bit bit fun in our costume...=P...back at home...i got some worry feeling of dunno wat...tis time...i cried again...den i went out ta the living room...my mum saw mie wif red eyes den ask y i cry lehh....den i denied tat i cried...SCARY!!!

Wed...everything was ok ok...but den...fer no reason i quarrelled wif ken..?i wasn't in gd mood tat dae...cuz mrs koh gave us some geo stuff back...was real sad bout it...haiz...den msging ken den dunno y quarrel lorr...den last msg he sent fine than...den i was sadd and not in mood le...so didn't reply le...was real sad tat time...den i wrote tis in my book...the book tat i bring along everydae...

Long never write in tis book le...life is teribble these few days...so many things happening around mie...CA2 results not gd...but i can't do anything..i'm always being scolded...i wanted to work hard too...its nice to have the feeling of achieving high marks...who wouldn't wan..?but everything is juz so hard to do...so much harder den jus saying it..haiz...SYF tml...Exams 2 days lata...how ta study?i can't do anything lorr..=(

*tis part is bout *him...i shall not type it out as some will read it...

Todae quarrel wif ken...for no reason...its all my fault...truly speaking...he is the onli one who understands mie...i dunno y...others will juz console mie when i'm sad...but..he is the onli one whom understands those things i'm goin through...den todae quarrel wif him...i noe...both of us are the same de...if we quarrel wif someone...den if the someone never tok ta us or sth like tat...we will not take the initiative ta tok de lor...haiz...so if we dun tok...den if i have anything,will be kept deep inside le...no one will noe liao...if not some will be written in my blogg...all i can sae now is SORRI!Sorri fer all the trouble caused!=(...U are the most understanding fren ever...THANKS ALOT!!

wasn't saying the rest of my frens not understanding kae...juz tat he noe the situation i'm in bahx...BUT...all frens are impt to mie!!!all make a difference in my life!!So...wed quite sadd...den i got tat worring feeling again...juz rite after i quarrelled wif ken...haiz...but during guitar...mr ong does cheer mie up a little...dunno y...nth can cheer mie up except when i'm at guitar...at home cry again...but bit bit onli larr...

Thurs...reached skool at 6 plus wif ham...den change..put make up..so practise practise practise...den 9...we go bus there le...scared scared sia...den in bus..i took mdm tan's cam play and take pics...=)...we sing alot of song...heh...to make us relax...lol...but we kept singing happy ending...dunno y...everything was kind of scary there...we always complain bout our costume...but after looking at other skools de...i find ours much nicer...haha...we go in plae...all veri scary lehh...dunno how ta sae..den announcing of results also...mie and jia min was like...dunno how ta sae...we got silver...everyone was so disappointed...cuz we expect ourselves ta get a gold..?haix...all sadd lorr...den dun wanna leave the place...haha...but after some time left le...so in the bus back ta skool...we sang happy ending again...LOLX!...in the bus...we said tat we wanna bluff everyone tat we got COP...den the bus reach sch...big flower(VP) was there...alison they all bluff her...she believe lehh...den she ask us dun be sad...still give alison a hug...haha...after tat den tell mr chia we got COP also...cuz he was upstairs looking down...after sometime..alison said..."aiya...bluff u all de larr...we got SILVER"...haha...den big flower sae...u bluff mie ar...i wan my hugg back...haha..she is nice man...mr chia said...if we got COP...wun look like tat de lor...hahaha...we went ta music room ta change..fiona and alison started goin around bluffing sae we got COP...haha...den we got briefing den go back ta class...the stupid chi teacher..anyhow scold ppl...idiot ar...i go back her lesson veri gd le lor...*hmpt*....after sch...math lessons was FUN!!we ask mr yee alot irrelavant questions...he so shy kae...haha...den dey always take his pic...we always ask questions...he ans den we clap...but is personal tat kind of questions larr...haha...den we sing sing sing...sing happie ending during break...back to class also sing...den we sing so loud...mr yee didn't scold lehh...haha...so fun!!!but one thing...ken and i still didn't tok...

Fri...exams!!in parade square when i check my fone....ken msg mie!!haha...he wish mie gd luck...i replied...wish him gd luck too...happie happie...haha...back ta class...everything was kind of scary...but manage ta do larr...after exams got NSW sci...den my class got party fer ms neo...cuz she goin off le...den ser chen do so fast lor...siao de...had quite some fun at the party...ms neo so ke lian...give us make till wet wet le...den they stil put cream on her face...nth much larr...4 plus i reach home le...tok on fone...sms...bla bla...as usual la...but sad ta sae...i msg ken at nite den he didn't reply...

todae...went skool do math...den go point makan...we walk walk also...den go green study...nth much lorr...oh ya...read someone's blogg...he wrote tis-->do u all noe wad u say can hurt ppl alot? u dunno.. just shoot ur bloody mouth off to make urself happy thinking it is a joke.. but u noe u hurt some1 deeply?? .....but he himself did somethings and he didn't noe lorr...haiz...

*hopes everything will go back ta normal...
will blogg after exams bahx...muz concentrate le....btw...thanks fer all my frens fer being there at all times...FRIENDS FOREVER!!!Love u all!!!=)


LoUviN U__]]* 7:41 PM

Sunday, April 24, 2005



I wanted ta blogg a few days ago...but the com sot sot de...den now blogg...lazy ta retype everything...it was all crap scolding and cursing tat HZ...can believe a guy would scold a gal fer sth...or can sae fer nth..?...nvm...dun wanna tok bout tis idiot guy...
Everything is bored...SAs are tis week and next week...everything is goin so fast...i'm lost...dunno wat ta do...dunno wat ta sae...I'm damn busy...tis week...got SYF!!!OMG!!!i'm so scared...we will be waiting fer results there..?i'm afraid tat we dun do well...afraid tat i will burst when i hear the results...OMG!someone!!teach mie wat to do PLS!!can i stop all tis from happening..?I wish i can...
Everything is so different now...frens and even close teachers ask mie ta be the happy go lucky and cheerful mie like how i am when i was sec 1...i tried...i FAILED...i realise tat things can't go back to how they are like in the past...mie too wish i was still tat mie tat i was when i am a sec 1 kid...everything i so carefree...not much troubles...nth much...when we dunno much thing...we hope tat we grow faster and learn and noe more things...but after we grow up and learn more things...there tend to be more troubles...y is it so..?if it is like tis...i would rather i dunno anything...den i would at least lead a happie life...everything is so terrible now...
I may seems so happie...so cheerful or so normal and looks as if i dun care bout anything from the outside...but has anyone ever try looking at mie from the inside..?there are lots of wounds inside...i'm sad..i'm hurt...no one knows...everyone thought i'm normal...no one realli understand mie except for some ppl...i dunno wat ta sae...


LoUviN U__]]* 7:29 PM

Tuesday, April 19, 2005



Todae was fun...haha...as usual met ah ham in the morn...went skool together...we was toking so happily tat we didn't realise tat ah jin was behind..haha...during pe...we always laugh so much when we are playing volleyball...usual players-->pei jun,hafilah,khadijah,shahidah,eileen and i...sometimes sara will come...the volleyball...OMG...create many laughter...haha...after tat we got music...sad ta sae...we got scolded by mdm tan...den lessons got physis followed by chem...chem we went back ta com lab...we do some research thingy...got into some groups stuff...can i sae i'm lucky...?i shared com wei ah seong!!!LOLX!!!ok...den got into another grp...wif kelvin dey all...all crapping de...but i got do lorr...=)...my finger got a hole!!!all thanks ta jojo's present...nvm...its her present larr...haha...hope u like it...during recess..i went ta the toilet ta find jojo...cuz i noe se will be there...den i pass her the present...so i sun bian wait fer her and juian...we sang in the toilet lehh....whee~~~we are madd...den we tok all the way down ta canteen toking bout thgs and "ITS COMMON LARR"...haha...all the way till we was "Q"ing fer food...we are still at tat "its common larr"..haha...we had fun lorr...`lalala...after recess...history...bored....i slept...den tat kelvin said sth bout mie...i heard den i woke up...haha...eileen also sae sth bout mie...i woke up too...i am still so "awake" when i'm sleeping....haha..den it was chinese...we tok crap lorr...den tml got ORAL lehh...haiz...dunno how...okie...after chinese was eng lessons...got compo test lehh...i wrote...a speeding rocket...haha...
After sch...we had extra chem lessons...Ms Neo promised tat she will buy tidbits fer us...and she did!!!haha...den i learned how ta balance my equations...a better understanding fer tat...=P...den i went guitar...poor mr ong...he strum the strings so hardly lorr...den is like fer all the guitar...his hand so pain lorr...so ke lian..haha...den we start practising...we did some different moves...WAHH...den tat stupid pervertic mr chew...ask the gals ta shake our boops!!!WTH!!!but mr ong sae jk larr...
MR ONG...he always give us high hopes lehh...he always sae we can make it to a gold...saying we may make a histroy by performing like tat next thurs...OMG!!!its getting nearer and more interesting lorr...I LOVE MR ONG!!!Bet all the guitarist love him too!=)...such a nice instructor...i had a fun time during guitar todae!...but dunno y todae i feeling giddy sia...like the world arond mie is turing...hahax....todae got lots of ppl sick leh...juian...ken...all muz take carie leh...

To all my frens out there esp EX 1e5...We may still be quite close now...or not close at all anymore...as we can see and we noe tat we are in different classes...we spend more time wif our class den wif each other...we make new frens...we had new clicks...each class has their own stuff...every class have different stuff...times are different...we are no longer in the same class sharing the same period of time together...but hopefully things still remain the same...hope the changes around us wun affect our frenship...or sae dun ever let them affect our frenship...ppl are still the same...juz a matter of how we think of it...actually knowing tat we had at fer once its already enough...but can we maintain it forever..?HOPEFULLY it can stay the same...but no matter wat god is always there fer us!=)


LoUviN U__]]* 11:10 PM

Saturday, April 16, 2005



Sorri fer not bloggin so long...was busy with N1 cluster meeting and bro dun let mie use the com...

Last sun sth BIG happened...i had a silent break down...cuz of somethings a fren said...well...i told no one bout tis...i got no mood ta eat tat nite...everything is sort of sadd...i can't sae anything neither can i do anything...i wanted ta cry out loud...but i can't...i pretended ta be happie...i was thinking bout it fer the whole nite...juz can't stop thinking of it no matter how hard i try...i was wondering who ta believe too...tat fren told mie tis...another fren sae its not true...i dunno...On mon...i was sad...but i pretended tat nth happened and smile...i was afraid tat things would be different after those things tat happened on sun...tat time i was onli hoping tat everything was like normal...at 1st i thought it wasn't...but actually it was la..cuz he dunno anythingg...tat nite i cried...cuz of the show i'm watching and the thing lorr...in the noon i went ta cp wif lew...we shop fer IFD presents...i'm broke!!!

Tues...everything was normal..got guitar after skool...we use the classroom...cuz band got syf on thurs...nth much...wed we started preparing fer fri...we are busy like hell...i played in the rain!!=)...thurs...got guides also...we are doin all the things...but the sec 1s...haiz...i'm speechless...got guitar also...got no chioce but ta go guitar instead of guides...after guitar..went back ta guides...den went lew's hse ta make passport...ben told mie they got bronze...and he is feeling sadd...but i made him feel worse...SORRI!!!At home sth happened...i cried cuz of sth impt..den i watch tv and i cried again...for i dunno y...the show is not touching neither its sadd....sometime i stopped...den i cried again when i'm in bed...cuz i thought of somethings...mayb juz tat i think too much bahx...

Fri...a big busy dae...N1 cluster!!!and also IFD!!We exchange presents during guides in the morning when we are being called out..haha...there is a nice celebration...We are veri busy once we are out...we didn't even have ta time ta go ta break to have lunch...we prepare everything and get changed...i took pics of the guides...sth cropped up in the beginning...den after sometime all was as usual le...we walk pass the scouts while bringing the guides round the skool...dey watch the scouts' performance...den went down ta the australia booth...got 3 place...while the guides are in the 2nd place..dia said morden dance got silver!!!WUHOO~~we are so happie fer them...i called ham...her fone was off...i went ta find her and tell her....she was so shocked kae!!!and SHE CRIED!!!OMG!!!the booth in music room got food lehh!!!we ate!!!YUMMY!!!went back ta hall fer performace and stuff...den pack up le...after tat went nan chiau high wif tee fer debates...they didn't get into the finals...but there is sth funni...KILLER WHALES!!!!haha...went cp ta eat den cum home...

Todae..nth much...but got bit bit sadd...cuz sth...someone promised ta do sth but he didn't...NVM!!!I dun care le...Mrs chang told us sth todae..she sae we will wait fer our results on thurs before we go back ta skool...OMG!!!I'm afraid tat i may burst out...i'll try not to...even if i can't control...i will hide it from ppl around mie...i believe i can....

JUIAN!!U are my best of best fren...Fer the past 2 years +,u have always been there fer mie and helped mie no matter wat...thanks alot!!!No matter wat we will be best freind forever!!!ILU!!!=)

*i decided ta give up le...there is nth i can do anymore...wats more there are somethigs i heard...and sometime lata i noe the truth...give mie sometime and i'll let them go...everything will be back ta normal...u are now onli my best fren!!!i'll stop all the things i've been doin and keep a distance from u...


LoUviN U__]]* 2:39 PM

Saturday, April 09, 2005



Tests are like hell...everything is terrible...i believe i will burst again when i got my results...i believe i will fail fer alot subs...i have no faith at all...sian...guides was ok...busy fer the N1 cluster meeting...den wun be able ta support geraldine fer her debate le...sad...my comunications wif the sec 1s is bad...REAL BAD!...guitar syf cuming...was ok bahx...todae went debates...green's team won!she got the best speaker...CONGRATS!!!all the best fer next week!!!sherm sherm's 10 bucks gone lehh...all thanks ta tat stupid cashier...and tat puffer fish...EEE yuck!
Oh wells...i'm sick...some flu and cough...its torturing mie...how i wish i have a fever too...i love ta be sick...den i can torture myself....i can skip skool...and can die off easily too...wish tat i can bang the wall and die off todae after the a math test...but i didn't...cann i die..?i wish ta leave tis world.....isolate mie from tis world...i wish ta be in the lala` land...
Nobody understands how i am feeling...nobody knows wat is happening...although there are ppl out there whom are willing ta listen...but i dun wish ta tell everyone...it will onli make them worry more..
I'm jealous,I'm hurt,I'm sad cann..?No console...no concern...NTH!!!I noe i dun have the right ta be jealous as i am nobody ta u...I noe tat...its never sucessful fer mi ta ask u out...but when u ask mie out...u always sae till i can't sae "no,i'm not goin..."i can't do anyting...i dunno y...stop playing guessing game wif mie cann...I hate it!Juz sae out watever which is in ur mind cann..?I'm not important...I'm nth...i noe...sorri fer wasting ur time all these while...STAY AWAY FROM MIE!!I HATE *U!!!GO AWAY!!!LEAVE MIE ALONE!!!
~lonely gal...


LoUviN U__]]* 2:00 AM

Tuesday, April 05, 2005



I'm in skool now...using the com fer music...den mie use tis...was so shocked ta her tat its over between them...and it was my kor whom cause all these trouble...haiz...Y?!!

SI AH KOR!!!I hate u kae...how can u do tat..?dun tell mie u sm_k_ also kae...but even if u s____....y offer to him..?y do tis..?mayb u all will ask..i dun quite like him...but y i am helping him..i dunno...mayb cuz of min...but...haiz...u are the cause of all these troubles!!!HATE U!!!I'M WRONG OF U!!!!GO AWAY!!!


LoUviN U__]]* 8:49 AM

Monday, April 04, 2005



Thurs we had lessons half way...den went NYP fer rehearsal...the place is bigg!!!NICE!everything was ok...rehearse alot of times...den legg veri pain...the kok shoes veri pain...den got flasher leh..haha...it was ibrahim...his pants split while playing wif chew...jia wen and i go into the auditorium ta watch the performances instead of waiting behind...haha...when i sit there...sth strike mie...i wrote tis...

In the big dark room of the auditorium...
I was alone sitting there watching the performances while waiting fer our turn to play...
At that particular moment..
How i wish tat u are there...
Hoping tat u are there to tok to mie...
Juz beside mie...
Haiz...
But will tat ever happen..?
I'm wondering...
I'm thinking...
I'm hoping...
Hoping tat tis would come true one dae...
Hoping tat u will always be there fer mie...
Will tat dae ever cum..?
I dunno...=(

tat nite...went ta point ta have dinner...we gossip bout ibrahim...ben dun understand a thing...cuz we speaking chinese...haha...nth much le...

Fri...we didn't go ta assembly...went ta change...sometime lata set off le...reach there den we got curry puff...=)...we rehearse bout 2 times den had lunch...the lunch is so er lorr...after lunch we make up...haha...den stay in the room till the 1st show start lorr...we inside so sian...den i'm like madd...i take the camera and took alot of pics lorr...hahaha...it was fun!!!everything was a sucess...the dinner like....eeeeeeeeeee.....i went food court ta eat...haha....

Sat...ben woke mie up...whitely campfire CANCELLED!!!!So disappointed....we are all looking forward de lorr...when ah lew tell mie i was like...are u bluffing mie..?no longer april fool dae leh...den she sae it was real lorr...haiz...sian....so noon went shop shop wif her lorr...den ken and der siao de...ask us go clark quay dunno fer wat...den we climb the 90 steps up leh!!!so tiring lorr...walk walk a while den leave tat place le...a little siao la...den i tripped over tis metal chain leh...almost fall lorr...den we go heartland...cuz mie wanna buy things...but we went ta the arcade ta plae 1st...haha...den tat stupid person there...she noe my card spoil de lorr...den she still put $$ in fer mie leh...den card error can't use...we go find her she sae sh can't do anything...sai ar...waste my money...i went shop fer frenship dae present...bought sth fer *him...heex...nth much lerr...

Sun...went mall a while with ban ta buy my foolscap...hehe...den when wanna go home de time is like raining heavily leh...i was so cold lorr...1st time i was hiding from the rain leh...but then the wind always blow the rain ta mie...nth much lerr...

todae....skool as usual...ben brought his new fone ta skool...i was playing wif it...haha...help him infra alot of songs leh...after skool got extra lessons...den i sleep leh...1st time...end le,do eng wif ben...den go home...i use the com...like now...and it was a BIG mistake ta do so...found out tat der & min got some prob...den was like...haiz...i dunno wa ta sae...i was like...no mood lorr...how can he do tat..?!i dun understand y he do tat also...
mayb wat ken sae was rite...he may have done a bigg mistake...but its afterall between both of them..we have no right ta interfere lorr...let them settle themselves lorr...she is like...the second person i'm so concern bout when problems came by their love life lorr...i also dunno y...

BEN...sorri worx...u noe wat i apoligizing fer de la...sorri fer wasting ur time when i'm not toking...sorri fer not telling u...cuz realli dun wish ta sae it out...sorri fer making u worry...Sorry fer everything tat i have done!!!

KEN...take care of urself laa...sick le still always plae...muz take care kae...dun let mime noe tat u are playing in the rain..or not i will start scolding u again...hahax...sorri fer saying too much too...

*Love bRoNzE!!!


LoUviN U__]]* 9:13 PM