**-i LOVE yyou-**
Monday, March 12, 2007
went for the YA thing ..
hear them talk bout UH ..
and they say ppl who didn't attend UH course are unofficial UH ..
i knew MT gave yun 2oo bucks for courses for she and wan ..
WHAT BOUT MINE ??
last week she also told mie to consider another sch that i wan to get into ..
i knew what she meant ..
i could tell ..
from the things she said ..
i could long ago tell that they wanted to take wan and yun in for YA ..
and our sch could onli take in 2 ..
everything they tell them they never inform mie at all ..
i ASKED them on my own ..
today ..
i got no choice but to ask MT bout the UH course ..
i know they gotta choose only two ..
and this is what she said in the last msg ..
"School will be taking wan and sze yun. U can join us unofficially.sorry."
I KNEW THIS WOULD COME ..
i know they would choose them ..
partly cux of TYN too ..
i can assure that !!
seriously ..
i felt like crying when i saw that though i expected that to come ..
i jux tried to put up my false front of not wanting to bother ..
thats all ..
seriously ..
i rather they tell mie earlier and i dun join YA AT ALL ..
seriously ..
i truly understand what and how sneeze felt ..
i NO LONGER feel the sense of belonging ..
GUIDES felt like its 10 metres away from mie even though i still have passion for it ..
i dun understand why ..
mayb i'm jux not good enough for them ...
i dun fit to be a YA in HS ..
anyway i dun like that BIAS TYN either ...
MT CHENGED ever since she came in ...
i see that big big change ..
its no longer the MT that i first knew ..
mayb i wun be goin back for HS 1st coy anymore ..
thats no longer the place that i belong to ...
sometimes i do hate myself ..
things i do would never go the way i want it to be ..
it always goes the other way ..
it makes mie feel like i'm so useless ...
JUNIORS READING THIS ..i'm really sry for everything that happened ..currently i've gotta learn to let go ..wan and yun will still go back to serve as a YA ..as for mie ..i may not go back ..i'll see how things goes ..I STILL LOVE THE BONGING I HAVE AND ALL THE HEART TO HEART TALKS ..I JUX LOVE YOU GUYS ..soon ..it will be a new chapter of life ..I'LL JUX LEAVE ..i'll try to forget those things that i once had ..i'll try not to take them with mie ..i'll LEARN TO LET GO ...i shall LEAVE THINGS that don't belong to mie behind ..give mie some time ..thats all i want now ... LoUviN U__]
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11:10 PM
